Last night, we had our youth meeting in the Fridge followed by our discipleship groups, as usual. Nothing really different or out of the ordinary….or so it seemed. For some reason last night, in my time with those three girls, the Lord just filled my heart with a fresh love for them. A true desire to see God move in their lives and become so real to them that they could only crave Him more. I could see the desire in their hearts to know God and to please Him with their lives. And I could relate to them, struggling to do so. So many times I want to want to serve God. I want to want to do what would please Him, but for some reason I keep letting other things take His place. In me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing! And they were getting that last night. Realizing that they NEEDED the LORD!! I was so renewed with a passion to help them find Him! And to start helping them by finding Him myself! I had such a beautiful time with the Lord this morning….and then throughout the day! Like I haven’t had in quite some time! I’ve prayed for those three girls all day long…that God would draw them to Himself, that they’d be safe from temptation, that He give them a desire and passion for His word! And in return…I feel Him drawing me to Himself, helping me avoid temptation, and giving me a desire to know His word and seek His face! What an amazing thing! What an indescribable God that makes things this way! I’m so thankful for those girls!! I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for EACH and EVERY one of them!!
Archive for January, 2008
new year’s resolutions……
I never really got into the fad of making resolutions for the coming year. I guess I always thought that people just made them up so they would have something to talk about at the new year, and that they didn’t really mean them. I had no desire to participate in this trend simply because society told me I should, so I always skipped out.
This year, however, as the Christmas season ended and the New Year rolled around, I felt the need to examine myself. I realized that I was probably lacking in a few areas that could probably use some attention. I decided that if I was going to participate in this tradition, that I would only pick one resolution and focus on improving myself in that specific area for the year. It would be something that would really help me to better myself overall. Since that time, I have officially counted nine significant bad habits that I would like to correct. NINE! And that doesn’t even count all of the little things like taking better care of our dog or finally painting our bedroom. We are talking significant flaws in the way I have been living my life. I have been so depressed the past couple of days. I hardly know where to begin to remedy all of these issues that have been brought to my attention. Its been quite overwhelming.
My mother suggested that I come up with 365 separate resolutions and merely do one each day. Her suggestion made me smile. Somehow she always knows how to do that.
But, despite my sweet mother’s attempts to cheer me up, the fact remains that I have so much work ahead of me in life. Will I ever become the person God wants me to be? I fall so short so much of the time. Its rather defeating to think about it. In all time I’ve been here on this earth so far, I still don’t have a very good grasp on life. I feel so small. So weak. So worn out. I think I’ve missed the point of setting the resolution…..
